Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
