Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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