I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
third nipple confirmed
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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