I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
