I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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