I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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