i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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