party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wanna passion pit in your ass
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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