so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
