We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
