he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize