he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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