Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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