Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
