So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
