I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
