it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize