i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
