I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
