My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
PANTIES FOUND
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