Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
