i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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