Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
