In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
