i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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