office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
