Ambien. No doubt about it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Semen is not good for contacts.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
