Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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