Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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