i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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