4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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