haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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