Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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