He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
