guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize