please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
