Can Purell be used as lube?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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