Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
