Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
