mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
