I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
