I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize