Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
This house was built for laser tag.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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