Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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