from now on my penis is your penis
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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