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if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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