I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
