I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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