How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You work out of a Hotel?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
