Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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