'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
