i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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