What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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