Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
