Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
