so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
