she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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