Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
smell my finger.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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