Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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