Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
