Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I need to calm my uterus...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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